What a night. I don’t know where to begin. I guess I’ll start with Tuesday when I received a text message from Michael. Michael said he wanted to see me and had a few questions for me. We arranged to meet each other at the Borough on Friday between 8:30 and 9:00.
So last night I met Michael at the Borough and after a few drinks he wanted to know why I was “not honest with him”. I was taken aback by this. ”Not honest about what”, I asked. To cut to the chase, Michael learned about my porno “career” and wanted to know why I didn’t tell him about it. I explained to him that it was such an insignificant part of my life that I didn’t think to tell him. He insisted on hearing how I got involved in porn and how long I did it for. I began by telling him about Clay and the Claymates and ended by sharing that I did just one scene.
Literally, within 1 minute of sharing this story, one of Clay’s best friends spots me on the way to the restroom. He told me that Clay’s been between New York and California, but would be returning because he had a death in the family. Out of respect to Clay and to their friendship. I didn’t inquire whatsoever about Clay. Tonight just was not the time to do that.
Michael, in the meantime, was fascinated by the Clay Aiken story and “made him want me more”… and there’s where the wacky part of this story really begins. Michael asked me to go back to his place to snuggle and I said no. I told him that I didn’t want to take it there. I didn’t feel comfortable. Michael would not take no for an answer. I got up to pay the bill and leave and Michael immediately stopped me. I explained to him that no one controls me unless I want them to be in control and when I say no then it’s no. Evidently, Michael is used to getting his way and insisted that I go home with him. Again, I declined. I left the Borough, feeling uncomfortable, and Michael followed me to the parking garage where he pinned me to against the stairs and began to make out with me. I obliged briefly and then told him that I was leaving. He followed me to my car and would not leave. I thought I would have to run him over. I began to get freaked out that he would not take no for an answer or respect my wishes. Finally, after raising my voice, he backed down and left.
I like Michael, but we are going to have a real problem if, when I say no, he can’t respect that. I made it abundantly clear that he’s not in control and that no man will ever make me do something that I don’t want to do. I’m disappointed. I am disappointed in the way he tried to get me to drink more than I wanted (after 2 I would only have Diet Coke), I am disappointed in the way he tried to make me feel guilty by saying that I was being arrogant by not recognizing how attracted he was to me. I was disappointed by the way he got overly aggressive and pinned me to the wall of the stairwell and began to make out with me. The whole time I was thinking of NTRA and her warnings to me… and the warnings of others. I stood my ground, refusing to give in. And by doing so, I saw a completely different person. One who got angry and persistent, refusing to respect my wishes. The night ended with him finally moving away from my car and telling me that I can call him if I want. I need to sleep on the nights events and really digest what occurred.
Oh, and Clay’s friend is REALLY cute.
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