Let me succinctly explain what occurred last Saturday night. I went out with Michael and we met at the Borough. While there, I introduced him to a few of my friends and we had a few drinks. He then asked if I would go with him to CC’s, a bar located across the street from Legends. At CC’s, he introduced me to a few of his friends. Let’s just say, they weren’t the caliber of people that I would associate myself with. At one point, I witnessed one of his friends engaging in behavior that I categorically disapprove of. Immediately, red flags began to go up. The night ended with me leaving and sending Michael a text that read, “When you’re sober and able to deduce the evening’s events, we’ll talk. The company that you keep is not indicative of the of the quality I’m accustomed to”.
I only thought it fair that I provide an opportunity for Michael to explain himself and why he associated with such people. It might be unfair of me to judge someone based on their friends, however, I have found it to be a good indicator of the type and quality of person.
You don’t have to be educated in human behavioral science to see that he doesn’t like to take no for an answer or feel that he’s been rejected. In fact, we spoke about this last night. I completely understand that, by most measures, people who graduate with a 4.0 from Columbia University possess this passion to succeed and don’t accept rejection. Many aren’t used to it and it’s a blemish on their ego if they are.
The text message went on from here as well. He asked me a few times if I was still going and what time I would be there. I repeated that I would be there and confirmed the time.
When we met at the Borough last night, he attempted to explain what transpired last Saturday by dismissing the guys he had introduced me to as simply people he knew and not necessarily his friends. I could accept that. In all fairness, there are people at the club that I know as well and that I’m cordial to, but that I don’t consider my friends. But there’s a difference in my behavior versus his; my conversations are limited to a few minutes of pleasantries and not hour long private conversations.
It was apparent to Michael that I wasn’t accepting his explanation and, therefore, he attempted to put me on the defensive by bringing up my past. It was an ill conceived move on his part. I divulged everything, including detailing my business relationship with Michael Lucas. I made it as unambiguous as humanly possible that it didn’t matter to me whether or not he could accept that. Before he could respond, Clay Aiken’s friend was passing on the way to the bathroom, and we began to talk briefly.
About thirty minutes later, Michael wanted to leave. He insisted that I go home with him and snuggle. I declined. He began rubbing my legs and shoulders, quietly whispering how much he missed me and wanted to spend time with me. I was adamant and explained that I would be going home… alone. He grabbed my chin with his thumb and finger and pulled me into his lips and began kissing me. He pulled his lips off of mine slightly and, while looking into my eyes, again asked me. Again, I declined. It was then, that he became belligerent… and by belligerent, I mean “ghetto-like” in his gestures and vocabulary. He pulled back from me and, with both his hands extended and his fingers pointing up in the air and down on the ground like some rapper, he says, “yo papi, I’m trying to tell you that I want you and you gettin’ on tall and bucked up. I don’t play that sh*t”. If my jaw could have hit the floor, it would have. I summoned the bartender and immediately closed out my tab. I got up to leave when he grabbed me by the arm and apologized asking that I stay. I told him his behavior was unacceptable and that he needed to “buck down”.
He followed me out of the Borough and stopped me by the stairwell leading to the parking garage. There, he again kissed me while my back was to the wall. To make this clear, never was he physically abusive. When he grabbed me, it was gently. When he stopped me, he did so by grabbing my hand turning me and slowly guiding me to the wall. Regardless, his behavior and insistence on having his way was inappropriate and unacceptable.
I broke off his kiss and went up the stairs. I could here him calling me from below. I ignored him and kept walking to my car. When I reached my car, I could see him walking toward me. I started the ignition and by this time he was standing at my driver’s side window asking that I please roll it down so that he could talk to me. I rolled it down slightly and we spoke. Again, he insisted that I go home with him. I was getting angry at this point, but didn’t want to express it. I needed to maintain control of the situation and not let it get out of control. Finally, he pulled back away from the car and I drove off.
This morning, I received another text message that he wants to see me again. After taking last night and this morning to digest the events over the course of the past few weeks, I would be out of my mind to put myself in a situation like that again. If I see him out, I will certainly be cordial, but I am not involving myself with anyone who behaves in the way he demonstrated last night. It’s important to be with someone who can respect you and your wishes and knows what boundaries are.
_______________
